Babysitting
by Don't Shoot the Puppy
Summary: I have to babysit a copycat Minimum, and a devious Tooth. What could possibly go wrong? Try, EVERYTHING! Note: Is not a Sam/Max fic.


**Disclaimer: I don't own nothing.**

Babysitting: Not as Easy as it Seems

Max: We're going now!

Me: Okay! Ahh, the fresh outdoors, with no witty comments from Max, or Iggy, no annoying silence from Fang, no trying to talk from Nudge, or her song choices, same for Ella, no bomb making from Gazzy, or atomic farts, no mind reading from Angel, and a day all to myself...

Max: Oh, and we need you to babysit Minimum and Tooth for us.

Me: But wait, I can't babysit for my li-

Max and Flock: *Fly to that place they were going to that I can't remember*

Me: Dammit...

Minimum: Dammit, Dammit!

Me: Um, no, don't listen to uncle Wings, he has bad language.

Tooth: *Staring with big eyes* uncle, I'm hungry...

Me: Um, okay. *inward thoughts* _but I can't cook, last time I tried, I was banned from the kitchen, and sent to my room._*speaking* okay, what do you want?

Tooth: Hotdogs.

Minimum: Hotdogs, hotdogs!

Me: *Inward thoughts* _that girl is gonna become a parrot when she's older, at the rate she's going...what did he say again?_ *Speaking* okay...do you know how to cook.

Tooth: No.

Me: *So much for that idea*

Minimum: No, no!

Me: Just shut up, Minimum...

Minimum: Shut up, shut up!

Me: Oh shi-I mean sugar. Where's Tooth?

Minimum: *Points to 'explosive door, do not pass if you are Tooth'* Tooth, Tooth!

Me: *Eyes widen* *Runs to door* *Starts hacking at it with pickaxe* why'd I have to make it titanium metal...Richard!

Richard: *With Sword of Truth* *Cuts through door*

Me: Thanks! *Sprints down stairs, barely avoiding the multiple traps set up* Okay, razor blades, pressure plates, giant boulder, arrows, swinging axe, Dylan...how'd he get past Dylan? I mean, his body was right in the way of the stairs...found him! *Picks up Tooth before he lights the match on the fireworks*

Tooth: *Tears swell up*

Me: Oh god no...

Tooth: *Starts crying* wha, wha wha, wha!

Me: *Makes pacifier* *Puts it in mouth* Phew... *Panting* too...much...use...of...fanfiction...powers...*Collapses*

Tooth: *Spits it out* Let's get to work...

Minimum: Work, work!

Tooth: *Facepalm*

-One tying up and torture device wheeling later—

Me: *Wakes up, bound and gagged* Where am I?

Blur: *Steps out of shadows* you've done well, my apprentices...

Tooth: *Salutes*

Minimum: Apprentices, apprentices!

Blur: Where'd you hide the cipher?

Me: What are you talking about? *Inward thoughts* _been watching too many movies hasn't he?_

Blur: Don't play dumb with me! Where's the cipher? *Whips*

Me: Okay, ow! *Inward thoughts* _I wish the powers had recovered now...just have to stall him. _*Speaking* Okay, okay, you got me, you got me...now, before you hit me with that again, just let me ask you something...why Minimum?

Blur: *Whips again* Answer the question!

Me: Hmm...I gave it to someone else?

Blur: *Whips* you really think I was gonna fall for that?

Me: Actually, I was kinda counting on it...*Inward thoughts* _Okay, how to get rid of the whip...aha!_

Blur: *Gets knife*

Me: *Inward thoughts* _What's up with these guys and ruining my plans?_

Blur: *Cuts off pinkie* Where?

Tooth: Don't do that, we don't want the blood on the carpet for when Mum gets home!

Me: *Screams* All this, and you're worried about whether the blood gets on the carpet or not?

Tooth: Shut up, filth!

Me: *Inward thoughts* _If he thinks I'm filth, he doesn't know how he was born! _*Speaking* I dropped it!

Blur: *Takes me to torture device* if you don't answer...

Me: Umm...*Inward thoughts* _this guy's crazy! My powers have almost recovered, but I can only get a minorly awesome character...hey! _*Speaking* I don't know...but he does! *Summons an _alive_ Dylan*

Dylan: Wha- hey, kids!

Blur: *Takes down Dylan* Where's the cipher?

Dylan: I don't know!

Blur: Blasphemy! *Stabs* tell me!

Dylan: *Is dead*

Blur: Tell me! Wait, what the he-

Sweeper: *Sweeps up Dylan's body, taking the Blur with it* *Malfunctions, and crushes passengers into the wall*

Me: *Snaps fingers* *Binds and gag disappear* *Pinkie grows back* Now let's see who was behind this, shall we...

Blur: *Mask is taken off* dammit!

Sam: How'd you know?

Me: No-one else but Dylan could be this stupid...*Turns to Tooth and Minimum* and as for you two-

Max: *Bursts through door* what is going on here?

Tooth and Minimum: *Bursts into tears*

Max: *Picks them up* *Gives pacifier* ohh, what's wrong, did uncle Wings do something bad to you?

Me: But-

Minimum and Tooth: Yes! *Keep wailing*

Max: *Glares* I'll deal with you later...*Starts to bring Minimum and Tooth out of the room*

Minimum and Tooth: *Spit out pacifiers, and grin mischievously*

Me: Come on!

Sam: Dude, you just got pwned by my ex and her two kids...

Me: I know...well, at least I learnt something from this...

Sam: What?

Me: Never...

ever...

let me babysit again.


End file.
